Dear Diary,
Well, believe it or not, I am just NOW turning in on this gorgeous
Sunday afternoon, after a really long night. It started out when I met my best
girlfriend, Trixie Stardust, for a
pre-dinner celebration of my 75th birthday at Red Lobster in Rivergate.
I have saved up for months for that lobster dinner and it was worth it! Trixie
surprised me with a pair of suede, Tennessee Walking Horse haired boots for my
present. It was attractively wrapped in a used Christmas bag, but she had
cleverly marked out Happy Hannukah with a violet sharpie and had somehow
reworked the letters to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY, she said she saw that on something
called PINTREST, but I told her there’s no way I can learn to sew with these fingernails. We made our way to
the world famous STARLITE club, where we met Jimmy Dwayne and Carl Bodene.
Jimmy swept me off my feet and I threw a hissy fit when he almost spilt his PBR
all over my Tennessee Walking Horse boots.
He said he had a surprise for me in the bathroom, and I told him I am a
lady, and I don’t do rendezvouses in the bathroom, but we did make our way to
his Chevy Tahoe, and….WELL, there is somethings a lady doesn’t talk about. The bartender at the Starlite, my good
friend, Imogene Whatamaker, put a lit match in one of those :Little Debbie
Oatmeal Crème pies and the whole gang sang Happy Birthday to me. It was one of
the greatest days of my life. I fell asleep at the bar around 3 a.m., and woke
up when I smelt Trixie’s buffoant on fire. She had just fallen asleep herself
at the bar. Well now I am waiting outside of the Deals to find some lunch, I
sure hope they have beef nuggets in a bag that I can dip into cheddar cheese
sauce. I also need some Tussin, cause I’m coughing like a bitch after all that
smoke at the Starlite. Good Night!!!
Love You and I Mean It, Bootsie Starlight
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